Computer games don't affect kids; if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.



Gremlins: The New Batch

Olen ollut aina tekemi­sissä kissojen kanssa. Joka talossa taisi olla kissa tai pari. Joskus ne saivat pentuja. Ensim­mäisen ”ikioman” pennun toin kotiin vasta yläas­teella. Koti­väki oli paljon helpommin suostu­telta­vissa kissan­pennun kuin hevosen hankin­taan. Ajatella… Koiria kotipai­kallani ei ollut, ja naapurei­denkin karvakorvat olivat metsästys­koiria.

Kaupun­kiin muutta­essani kissat jäivät vanhem­pieni luokse, ei kummas­takaan olisi enää city­kissaa saanut. Niinpä kului vuosi­kymmen kissoitta…

Musti #M59U

Tilanne muuttui ratkai­sevasti, kun sil­loinen talo­yhtiö vaihtoi omistajaa ja koko rakennus pistettiin remont­tiin. Pikaisen lähiö­kiemuran jälkeen löytyi uusi maja­paikka laita­kaupun­gilta. Elämä kävi tylsäksi ihmisten kesken; nörttejä ja koneita – koneita ja nörttejä… Löytö­eläin­kodin sivuilta sattui syksym­mällä silmään keski-ikäinen kolli­kissa pikaisesti kotia vailla. Mustikka, alias Musti, tuli taloon.

       

Wagner

Mustil­lakin oli ajoit­tain tylsää ihmisten kesken. Netti­kirppik­seltä löytyi kaveriksi brutaali saalis­taja Wagner, alias Vallu. En halunnut kiusata vanhusta hännässä roikkuvalla pennulla, mutta siinä tuli tehtyä pieni virhe­arvio. Mustia kun asutti pyhä henki, paha henki ja seit­semän kuoleman­syntiä ja Vallua taas Lumikki, seit­semän kääpiötä ja jokin rikin­katkuinen ala­maailman mana... Kaksikon elämä oli aluksi varsin myrs­kyisää.

       

Milli

Ihmisten varoi­tuksista välit­tämättä ratkaisin asian lisää­mällä enkä vähentä­mällä. Sanoma­lehden rivi-ilmoituk­sista löytyi Milli-neiti. Katti tuli ihan kirjaimellisesti pystymetsästä; edellinen kyselijä ei ollut osannut perille asti…

       

Eron myötä jouduin muut­tamaan pikku­riikki­seen sinkku­luukkuun, eikä Musti ollut tilan­teesta lopulta lainkaan hyvillään. Mea maxima culpa. Muutaman kuukauden kuluttua vanha herra muutti hiiren­loukuksi maalle. Ilmeisen tyyty­väisenä päivystää revii­rillään jyrsi­jöitään rousku­tellen.

– Kissat ovat hyviä. Elävät molemmilla tasoilla.
[Cats are good. Half in, half out anyway.]

~ John Constantine : Constantine (2005)

Romppu

Alku­talvi meni ihmetel­lessä Vallun ja Millin kanssa kolmis­taan, mutta sitkeästi tuntui Mustin jäljiltä tyhjä paikka jääneen. Kävin ex tempore nouta­massa Savon puolelta Rompun (kyllä, sillä oli jo nimi). Alun perin har­kitsin mustaa narttua… mutta eikös valkea kolli olekin mel­kein sama asia? Hyvä Mustin mant­telin­perijä pentu onkin, yhtä suuri ego ja häntä viskoo kissaa. Mutta nomen est omen: read-only memory ja varsi­nainen termiitti.

       

Uuden talven kynnyk­sellä jouduimme rand():n takia muut­tamaan jälleen kerran. Romppu päätti merkitä ”ekan oman revii­rinsä” ja joutui siitä syystä pikai­sesti egon­pienen­nysleik­kauk­seen. Vallulle vii­meinen muutto oli liikaa, se oirehti aikansa ja lopulta, kun en sille parem­paa­kaan kotia pys­tynyt järjes­tämään, lähti kis­sojen taivaa­seen 30. joulu­kuuta 2011.

Milli-neiti muutti äkillisen sairauden myötä kissojen taivaaseen touko­kuussa 2016.

Tossavainen alias Sasu #55A

Koska Rompun lauma oli kutistunut yhteen, ryhdyin katselemaan netistä täydennystä. Sijaiskodissa odottikin jo yksi. Herra Tossavainen, alias Tossu tuli taloon. Aluksi äkillinen ryhmänjohtajan vastuu rasitti vanhempaa herraa karvanlähtöön asti, mutta valtasuhteiden vakauduttua elo on ollut varsin sopuisaa. Pentu on ensimmäinen katti, joka juoksee lapsen kanssa, eikä vain tarvittaessa pakoon. Perfect match?

Jotain pahaa karmaa tässä kuitenkin täytyy olla; joiltakin osin käyttäytyy kuin olisi koira. Testattu käytännössä; jopa koiraihmisetkin huomaavat tämän katin (ja niitä kissoja kun on kaksi)…

     


Muutamia epäakateemisia huomioita :

~ comp.os.linux.misc "; break; case 4: echo " The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer.
~ C3PO "; break; case 5: echo " One OS to rule them all
One OS to find them.
One OS to call them all
And in salvation bind them.
In the bright land of Linux,
where the hackers play.
~ J. Scott Thayer "; break; case 6: echo " People disagree with me. I just ignore them.
~ Linus Torvalds "; break; case 7: echo " I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly "; break; case 8: echo " As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. "; break; case 9: echo " Never drink and derive. "; break; case 10: echo " Confucius say: He who play in root, eventually kill tree. "; break; case 11: echo " Everything is a file. "; break; case 12: echo " A Unix saleslady, Lenore
likes work, but likes the beach more
She found a clever way
to mix work with play
She sells C shells by the seashore "; break; case 13: echo " The most technologically efficient machine that man has ever invented is the book.
~ Northrop Frye "; break; case 14: echo " His Master is kind
Answering his FAQ quickly
with thought and sarcasm. "; break; case 15: echo " Calm down, it's only ones and zeroes "; break; case 16: echo " Smith & Wesson beats four aces. "; break; case 17: echo " Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek. "; break; case 18: echo " The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2. "; break; case 19: echo " We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
~ Douglas Adams "; break; case 20: echo " 355/113 - not the famous irrational number pi, but an incredible simulation "; break; case 21: echo " The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute.
~ Marvin Minsky "; break; case 22: echo " The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
~ B.F. Skinner "; break; case 23: echo " If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL. "; break; case 24: echo " Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
~ Jeff Pesis "; break; case 25: echo " I will not be a lemming and follow the crowd over the cliff and into the C.
~ John Beidler "; break; case 26: echo " I think Microsoft named .NET so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. "; break; case 27: echo " Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders. "; break; case 28: echo " Perl: The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.
~ Keith Bostic "; break; case 29: echo " No-one can tell
what God or Heaven will do
if you divide by zero
~ Elas Giordano "; break; case 30: echo " Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the..., please Hal
~ Jennifer Jo Lane "; break; case 31: echo " PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.
~ Jon Ribbens "; break; case 32: echo " If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution.
~ Robert Sewell "; break; case 33: echo " Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are–by definition–not smart enough to debug it.
~ Brian Kernighan "; break; case 34: echo " If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime. "; break; case 35: echo " Some people, when confronted with a problem, think: 'I know, I'll use regular expressions.' Now they have two problems.
~ Jamie Zawinski "; break; case 36: echo " The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit."; break; case 37: echo " You affect the world by what you browse.
~ Tim Berners-Lee "; break; case 38: echo " There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. "; break; case 39: echo " You step in the stream
but the water has moved on
This page is not here
~ Cass Whittington "; break; case 40: echo " The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone
~ Jason Willoughby "; break; case 41: echo " Physics is the universe’s operating system.
~ Steven R Garman "; break; case 42: echo " 42 "; break; case 43: echo " LHC: one ring to rule them all. "; break; case 44: echo " Having been erased
the document you're seeking
Must now be retyped
~ Judy Birmingham "; break; case 45: echo " Not all bits have equal value.
~ Carl Sagan "; break; case 46: echo " There are two major products that come out of Berkeley, LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
~ Jeremy Anderson "; break; case 47: echo " Apples have meant trouble since Eden.
~ MaDsen Wikholm "; break; case 48: echo " Your file was so big
It might be very useful
But now it is gone
~ David J. Liszewski"; break; case 49: echo " If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
~ Thomas Bertram Lance "; break; case 50: echo " Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
~ Joseph Campbell "; break; case 51: echo " It takes longer if you watch it run. "; break; case 52: echo " May the Source be with you. "; break; case 53: echo " We love open source, We have worked with open source for a long time now.
~ Jean Paoli, Microsoft (2010) "; break; case 54: echo " The Web is now philosophical engineering. Physics and the Web are both about the relationship between the small and the large.
~ Tim Berners-Lee "; break; case 55: echo " Any good software engineer will tell you that a compiler and an interpreter are interchangeable.
~ Tim Berners-Lee "; break; case 56: echo " Any code of your own that you haven’t looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.br /> ~ Eagleson's Law"; break; case 57: echo " 'Do not try to get support. That's impossible... only try to realize the truth.'
'What truth?'
'There is no support.'
'There is no support?'
'Then you'll see that it is not the developer that bends, it is only yourself.'"; break; case 58: echo " 0. You must play the game.
I. You can't win.
II. You can't break even.
III. You can't quit the game.
~ Ginsberg's Theorem "; break; case 59: echo " First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
~ Mahatma Gandhi "; break; case 60: echo " All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.
~ IBM manual (1925) "; break; case 61: echo " Everything that can be invented has been invented.
~ Charles Duell, US Office of Patents (1899)"; break; case 62: echo "In the future, computers may weigh no more than 1.5 tonnes.
~ Popular Mechanics (1949)"; break; case 63: echo "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
~ Thomas Watson, IBM (1943)"; break; case 64: echo " Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.
~ Thomas Edison "; break; case 65: echo "It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn’t have written it.
~ Mark Andreesen, of the HTML tag BLINK"; break; case 66: echo "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
~ Ken Olson, Digital Equipment Corporation (1977)"; break; case 67: echo "I don’t know what the language of the year 2000 will look like, but I know it will be called Fortran.
~ CA Hoare (1982)"; break; case 68: echo " Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescope
~ Edsger W. Dijkstra "; break; case 69: echo "The problem of viruses is temporary and will be solved in two years.
~ John McAfee (1988)"; break; case 70: echo "The code was willing
It considered your request
But the chips were weak
~ Barry Brumitt"; break; case 71: echo "Digital files cannot be made uncopyable, any more than water can be made not wet.
~ Bruce Schneier"; break; case 72: echo "It is not about bits, bytes and protocols, but profits, losses and margins.
~ Lou Gerstner"; break; case 73: echo "Out of memory
We wish to hold the whole sky
but we never will ~ Francis Heaney"; break; case 74: echo "Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand.
~ Neil Armstrong"; break; case 75: echo "I'm sorry, there's … um …
insufficient … what's-it-called?
The term eludes me…
~ Owen Mathews"; break; case 76: echo "We will make electricity so cheap that only the rich will burn candles.
~ Thomas Edison"; break; case 77: echo "There is only one problem with common sense; it’s not very common.
~ Milt Bryce"; break; case 78: echo "We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe.
~ Stephen Hawking"; break; case 79: echo "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.
~ Stephen Hawking"; break; case 80: echo "I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
~ Stephen Hawking"; break; case 81: echo "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.
~ Albert Einstein"; break; case 82: echo "The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing.
~ Socrates"; break; case 83: echo "Tell me and I forget.
Teach me and I remember.
Involve me and I learn.
~ Benjamin Franklin"; break; case 84: echo "First snow, then silence
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully
~ Simon Firth"; break; case 85: echo "Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
~ Eric Raymond"; break; case 86: echo "Being able to break security doesn’t make you a hacker anymore than being able to hotwire cars makes you an automotive engineer.
~ Eric Raymond"; break; case 87: echo " The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.
~ Bill Gates "; break; case 88: echo "There is no patch for stupidity.
~ Kevin Mitnick"; break; case 89: echo "Passwords are like underwear: you don’t let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers.
~ Chris Pirillo"; break; case 90: echo "The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards.
~ Gene Spafford"; break; case 91: echo "Each new user of a new system uncovers a new class of bugs."; break; case 92: echo "Talk is cheap. Show me the code.
~ Linus Torvalds"; break; case 93: echo "Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
~ Margaret Segall"; break; case 94: echo " If you think your users are idiots, only idiots will use it.
~ Linus Torvalds "; break; case 95: echo "A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
~ Bruce Lee"; break; case 96: echo "No person, no idea, and no religion deserves to be illegal to insult, not even the Church of Emacs. ~ Richard Stallman"; break; case 97: echo " The Linux philosophy is 'laugh in the face of danger'. Oops. Wrong one. 'Do it yourself'. That's it.
~ Linus Torvalds"; break; case 98: echo "Playfully doing something difficult, whether useful or not, that is hacking
~ Richard Stallman"; break; case 99: echo "Linux is obsolete.
~ Andrew Tanenbaum"; break; case 100: echo "There's no data like metadata."; break; case 101: echo "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
~ Bruce Lee"; break; case 102: echo "All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.
~ Bruce Lee"; break; case 103: echo "Hacker does for love what others would not do for money."; break; case 104: echo "First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.
~ John Johnson"; break; case 105: echo "First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure.
~ Mark Twain"; break; case 106: echo "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."; break; case 107: echo "Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
~ Larry Wall"; break; case 108: echo "Simplicity, carried to the extreme, becomes elegance.
~ Jon Franklin"; break; case 109: echo "I think it's a new feature. Don't tell anyone it was an accident.
~ Larry Wall"; break; case 110: echo "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
~ Yoda"; break; case 111: echo "There are only two industries that refer to their customers as users.
~ Edward Tufte"; break; case 112: echo "Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. No is the answer.
~ Erik Naggum"; break; case 113: echo "Software and cathedrals are much the same; first we build them, then we pray.
~ Sam Redwine"; break; case 114: echo "Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.
~ Alan Kay"; break; case 115: echo "The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less.
~ David Emery"; break; case 116: echo "No crisis inside a computer is worth humiliating a human.
~ Alan Cooper"; break; case 117: echo "It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.
~ Alan Cooper"; break; case 118: echo "Don't trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
~ Steve Wozniak"; break; case 119: echo " Much to learn, you still have.
~ Yoda "; break; case 120: echo "Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly.
~ Steve Jobs"; break; case 121: echo "No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
~ Yoda"; break; case 122: echo "We don't grow most of the food we eat. We wear clothes other people make. We speak a language that other people developed. We use a mathematics that other people evolved. I mean, we're constantly taking things.
~ Steve Jobs"; break; case 123: echo "Copying an idea from an author is plagiarism. Copying many ideas from many authors is research.
~ Phelson's Law"; break; case 124: echo "Don't think you are, know you are.
~ Morpheus"; break; case 125: echo "The Internet? We are not interested in it.
~ Bill Gates (1993)"; break; case 126: echo "640K ought to be enough for anybody.
~ Bill Gates (1981)"; break; case 127: echo "Windows NT addresses 2 Gigabytes of RAM, which is more than any application will ever need.
~ Microsoft (1992)"; break; case 128: echo "Never send a human to do a machine's job.
~ Agent Smith "; break; case 129: echo "Government funding should be for work that is available to everybody. Open source is not available to commercial companies. [...] Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to everything it touches.
~ Steve Ballmer"; break; case 130: echo "Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing and obeys the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases.
~ Norman Augustine"; break; case 131: echo "The computer is the game.
~ Tom Christiansen" ; break; case 132: echo "I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.
~ Isaac Asimov" ; break; case 133: echo "Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
~ Ted Nelson"; break; case 134: echo "There is no spoon.
~ Neo"; break; case 135: echo " I have bought this wonderful machine, a computer. Now I am rather an authority on gods, so I identified the machine; it seems to me to be an Old Testament god with a lot of rules and no mercy.
~ Joseph Campbell "; break; case 136: echo "The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.
~ Edsger Dijkstra"; break; case 137: echo "That’s what’s cool about working with computers. They don’t argue, they remember everything, and they don’t drink all your beer.
~ Paul Leary"; break; case 138: echo "Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.
~ Donald Knuth"; break; case 139: echo "Programming is an art form that fights back."; break; case 140: echo "They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
~ Janet Reno"; break; case 141: echo "Web Services are like teenage sex. Everyone is talking about doing it, and those who are actually doing it are doing it badly.
~ Michelle Bustamante"; break; case 142: echo "Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.
~ Mitchell Kapor"; break; case 143: echo "XML is like violence: if it doesn’t solve your problem, you aren’t using enough of it."; break; case 144: echo "The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
~ B. F. Skinner "; break; case 145: echo "Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
~ Don Vonada"; break; case 146: echo "The phrase was 'Divide and conquer' not 'Divide and cock up'.
~ Alan Cox"; break; case 147: echo "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
~ Emo Philips"; break; case 148: echo "Hardware: the parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
~ Jeff Pesis"; break; case 149: echo" Anyone can build a fast processor. The trick is to build a fast system.
~ Seymour Cray "; break; case 150: echo " It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow.
~ Craig Bruce "; break; } ?>

$kuu $vuosi\n"; echo "Ma Ti Ke To Pe La Su\n"; $k=1; for ($i=0; $i<$viikkoja; $i++) { for ($j=1; $j<=7; $j++) {if ($j<$ensimmainen && $i < 1) {echo " ";} else if ($k <= $kuukaudessa) { if ($k == date("j")) { niller(); echo "$k"; $k++; } else { niller(); echo "$k"; $k++; } } else {echo " "; } if ($j!=7) {echo " "; } } echo "\n"; } echo ""; ?>
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